1 President Obama wants to take away our guns. (Everybody knows this is a lie. However, that bad boy Obama does want to take away our bullets.)
2 The more we spend on the military, the safer we are. (Unless we oppose the military. Then we become an accidental target of a drone strike.)
3 Corporations use tax cuts to hire people. (Most money from tax cuts go toward dividends for the rich and CEO compensation)
4 The unemployed are lazy and stupid. (The best example of the truth of this is George W. Bush after he became unemployed after leaving the white house and the nation in the worse mess since the Great Depression)
5 Rich people are smarter than everyone else (George W Bush is dumb as a brick, and probably can’t spell “brick.” So this isn’t true at all)
6 We will never run out of oil. (We will run out of oil whenever the oil companies want to raise the price of oil and scare us into not protesting.)
7 Invading foreign countries wins hearts and minds. (This is actually true. When we invade a country we win the hearts and minds of the already rich people who profit from it.)
8 Science is a matter of opinion. (But only for those who have low IQs.)
9 Instigating unnecessary wars shows your support for the troops. (This is true too. Instigating unnecessary wars shows your support to use the troops as cannon fodder for the profits of the rich.)
10. Corporations are people. (I don’t remember reading that in the constitution, but conservative supreme court justices Thomas, Alito, Scalia and Roberts do, although they were seeing it when on LSD or as they gazed at all the cash and wealth they were surrounded with at their annual Koch Brothers retreat.)
11. Money is speech. (I don’t remember reading that in the constitution, but conservative supreme court justices Thomas, Alito, Scalia and Roberts do, although they were seeing it when on LSD or as they gazed at all the cash and wealth they were surrounded with at their annual Koch Brothers retreat.)
12. One gender is better than the other, one race is superior to all others, and there is only one true religion. (This is especially true of my true religion, although to be blunt, I don’t have one. But it is true of my gender, although I am a man, but I sometimes think it would be cool to be a woman, maybe in another life.)
13. You can get any medical treatment that you need, for free, in any hospital emergency room.
14. Ronald Reagan won the Cold War. (Harry Truman actually won the cold war. Ronald Reagan simply continued a military buildup begun under Truman and resurrected by Jimmy Carter. Reagan didn’t do diddly squat to bring down the Soviet Union, but conservatives want to call him great, and so they needed him to do something great, but he didn’t. So the conservatives created the myth about the Soviet Union and its destruction at the hands of Reagan.
15. The environment can protect itself. (This is true, but only if the environment is given guns to defend itself against polluters and hunters, but the NRA is against this expansion of gun rights.)
16. It is better for America to be feared than loved.
17. Only the wealthy create jobs. (By now everybody should know that tax cuts for the rich destroy jobs.)
18. America is a Christian nation.
19. Human beings are not the cause of climate change. (This is technically true. When we fart and poop we do not create the stuff that causes global warming, although our machines do.)
20. Minority women have children in order to qualify for welfare. (Look at Obama. He’s a perfect example of this. He’s a public employee. That’s as good as being on welfare. Everybody knows that every public employee makes a ton of money off the public and are part of the one percent. Oh wait a minute. Obama’s mother wasn’t a minority. But he is a blood sucking public employee getting rich off the public like those teachers and police officers etc….