Jefferson Smith for Mayor of Portland

Jefferson Smith should be the next mayor of Portland, Oregon. Why? The developers that run city hall don’t like him, so he can’t easily be purchased like a can of tomatoes, such as his rivals Charlie “Wall Street” Hales and Eileen “Loves Developer’s Boondoggles” Brady. Mr. Smith is against the new Columbia River Crossing Bridge, which nobody in their right mind would want since it does nothing to improve traffic conditions on the I-5 freeway; but Brady and Hales support it to the tune of roughly half a billion bucks, but then they’re not in their right minds; they’re in the pockets of the developers.

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